THE PRACTICAL POWER DRESSER : A Smart Girl’s Fashion Secrets in a Bad Economy

Since I started blogging, I knew that one day I was bound to write a fashion entry. Fashion talks may seem petty to some, but I tell you dearies, it’s not just about lovely dresses, to-die-for shoes and sparkly accessories that would make even the most proper of girls drool; I’d rather call it power dressing, or projecting a self-image of success through one’s wardrobe.

Power dressing refers to a style of clothing and hair intended to make wearers seem authoritative and competent, especially in professional settings in business, law and government.
                                                                                                                                -Wikipedia

To clarify, power dressing may revolve around clothes and accessories, but there’s more to it than the parade of labels and what-nots. It is more about the attitude of the wearer towards the clothes and the trend itself. Clothes can be tools we may use to project an image: how we want to portray ourselves and how we want to be perceived – but it isn’t about being pretending to like a style when you really don’t, or sacrificing comfort over fashion. If so, you run the risk of becoming a fashion victim. If I may boldly define it in my terms, power dressing encourages you to look into your inner self, evaluate your own sense of style, and bring it out through accents and/or statement accessories to be then paired with classic fashion pieces that would give a timeless and polished impression. It also helps if you have a fashion icon who can be your wardrobe guide to help you come up with your own version. The goal is to transmit an aura of calm confidence, being comfortable in one’s own body, and possessing undeniable flair that will make people around you think: “Damn, this girl is set to conquer the world! She is dressed to kill.”

As in the above definition, the term was originally coined to refer to wardrobe planning in relation to one’s professional career. Power dressing was viewed as ideal for government officials, corporate executives, and head honchos from all sorts of fields of expertise as well as job applicants. However, I believe that power dressing shouldn’t just be a costume to wear whenever one goes to their respective places of business. It should be a lifestyle, a state of mind. Thus, it may also be applied to our everyday lives. I am not suggesting that you should break your piggy banks, go on a shopping spree and start panic buying for a lavish wardrobe; rather, I’m advising that you invest in classic pieces (some of which may already be in your closets), pick out colors that suit you and accessorize in a way that brings out your unique personality while flashing that confident smile. Also, don’t forget to scour for budget finds. Bookmark places with great discount sales. Surely you can be a fashion Princess for less.

My personal fashion icon is Audrey Hepburn and it is very well reflected in my clothing preferences. Audrey popularized the Little Black Dress, an iconic fashion statement that says: elegant and sophisticated, conservative but not prudish- a true classic. It’s also very wearable. Ms. Hepburn, much like Coco Chanel, invested in timeless pieces (which can be worn anytime, anywhere) and in basic colors that are very easy to match with the rest of one’s outfit. Nonetheless, our heroine here isn’t afraid to add a pop of color such as touches of pink wherever she wants it. I personally like red. Red dress, red lips, red bag, red slim belt over a white or navy dress,  red shoes to match a classic LBD/LWD, red scarf, and red nails. Not at the same time of course, but you get what I mean. A hint or burst of red is a surefire formula to brighten my day and glam up my night.

I guess that’s enough talkin, let’s get dressin’.

The Little Black Dress-an every woman must-have, and my absolute favorite. 50% of my closet is populated by black dresses in all sorts of designs and variations. Here are a few of them:

The strapless black dress for cocktails and drinks

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The long sleeved black lace and lycra dress. I got mine on sale for B200 from Forever 21 last March (2013) and I haven’t had the chance to wear it yet.

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I used to have this version of the black lace dress from December 2010. I got it from Greenhills in Manila for Php350.

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The short sleeved black lace dress. I got this from H& M (on sale for B300). Here, the model definitely wore it better than I did.

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City Triangle open back dress (price unrecalled; adorned with pearls, hand-sewn by Jan Jay Espino ) as seen on my engagement photos.

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Vintage black dress (B150) as seen on my engagement photos.

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Vintage black dress (price unrecalled)

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The casual black top and leggings combo ala Mademoiselle Hepburn.

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The nude pumps. I admit. Just like the rest of the girls obsessed with Kate Midlleton’s style, I am also enamored with the Duchess’ favorite pair of L.K Bennett sledge heels.

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Sadly, at £49.50 a pop, the elusive pair is way beyond my thrifty fashionista budget. So instead I opted for a fashion steal in the form of Charles and Keith nude peep-toe pumps (originally priced B2, 000 here in Thailand but I got it for B1, 350 in Singapore). See actual photo here https://theglobalfilipina.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/cecille-and-ian-488.jpg

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To further satisfy my Catherine of Cambridge craving, I also availed of Payless Thailand’s opening sale and got this comfy and stylish pair at 50% off (B450).

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This version from Dexter is a nod to Kate’s penchant for wedges.

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A girl should never be without a pair of black stilettos. It’s the safe perfect match to any outfit a woman could think of. A Marie Claire- Paris black sling back (on sale for B200) does the job for me. https://theglobalfilipina.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/30.jpg

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Recently, along with my nude wedges, I got this pair from Christian Siriano for Payless, on sale of course! With a tinge of pink, this black number is the ultimate for killing the dance floor (only when out with the fiancé anywayJ). My new baby is still safe inside its box. I wanted to wear them today but I decided they’d be totally impractical for patient’s rounds and for going inside the O.R.

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Be the Lady in Red. Channel your “womanity” in this bright and bold hue…

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Either at the office party… (Bought from Tin Dayao-Tolentino for Php350)

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A celebration night with the girls…

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Or your birthday

Whatever in White. Simply cool, classic, comfy.

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And all of these stolen from my mother’s closet.

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Luckily for me, I am blessed with a quirky and fashion-forward mother too…unfortunately, I can’t bring my mother’s closet to America. This reminds me of what my future father-in-law said before: As a low-cost shopper, I will surely get sticker shock in the US. I am sooo used to cheap shopping in Asia (especially in Thailand which is the shopping capital of Southeast Asia) that I would probably never go out to the American malls.  I find it ridiculous how Asian-made products become way more expensive after being shipped off to North America. Consumerism at its finest.

 I was never a slave to fashion. I do like having nice things but I’ve always had the good sense to get them for reasonable, if not at absolutely low prices.  When I arrive in the US, I know I won’t be working for a while. With no income in a country where everything is practically, to coin Filipino slang, “dollars*”, how will the fashionista in me survive?

*Dollars- adj. (in Filipino slang) expensive

That’s when I thought of buying in advance for cheap here in Bangkok. Also, since I’m still earning here, I would actually have the means.  I used to joke with my cousins that here in Thailand, you can never be without clothes because they sell them as low as B20!!! That’s less than a dollar. True story.

Some of the stuff I displayed earlier haven’t been worn yet because I actually intend to bring them over to my new home. During my fiancé’s last visit, I asked him to carry some of my stuff to New York ahead of me.  It was actually therapeutic to our longing hearts because it was somehow our way of telling each other that my move to the US is definitely happening. How else would I be able to part with my darling shoes if I didn’t know for sure I’d see them again?! Hehe!

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Aside from actually “saving by spending” here rather than over  there,  I am investing in shopping because I am very excited to meet Ian’s family and friends for the first time. I know it might sound silly, but of course I really want to give them a good impression of me when they first see me. I want to look well put-together.  I have a feeling they would be pleasant to me anyway, even if I didn’t put in so much effort. Nonetheless, I still just want to put my best foot forward.

The truth is, no matter what one wears, it’s the overall personality that says more about a person. You may be wearing thousand dollar blings or strutting with all of Coco Chanel and Alexander McQueen’s creations, but if you are as fake as a counterfeit Louis Vuitton Speedy from Laos, there’s no way you can charm a crowd. So here’s my advice to every lovely woman out there (advice I also so often give to myself):  Be your lovely and genuine self. And as I said earlier, don’t forget to smile and you will definitely win all of them over, fashionable outfit or notJ. Ciao!

I’ve been thinking a lot about this too. My conflict is that the American name format:

First Name Middle Name Last Name

is different from what we normally do in the Philippines:

First Name Middle Name (which actually means Mother’s Maiden Name for men and single women), Last Name

So let’s say a Filipino woman named Clarissa/ Paulino/ Cortez marries an American national with the Last Name Walker.

In the Philippines, her full name is to become Clarissa/ Cortez /Walker (her last name becomes her middle name ).

Recently, Filipina women have gotten into the trend of hyphenating their last names to keep all their names including their mother’s maiden name.

It’s less complicated for a woman without a second name.

Let’s say, like me, Clarissa has a second name Leila. For sentimental reasons, like me, she wants to keep at least her former last name. In the Philippines, it’s easier. She can just write Clarissa Leila/ Cortez/Walker.

I don’t know how it’s going to be in the US though because there are only three spaces for the names . Maybe she can write Clarissa (First Name) Leila (Middle Name) Cortez-Walker (hyphenated Last Name)?

Tell me your thoughts 🙂

Genetic cocktails and DNA mixes: Raising our HAPA (mixed-race) kids

In my previous entry, I revealed to you my heart’s desire of having two kids with Ian. As a newly engaged woman, I am really excited about the prospect of a new family life with my fiancé. And while I am set on pursuing a career over immediately having a child after getting married, Ian and I have discussed children several times in our relationship.

We are both thrilled at the thought of having mixed/HAPA kids. We think it’s cool. The Philippines has a very rich cultural background and almost everyone can claim to having a mixture of Chinese and Spanish lineage brought about by years of intermarriage within these cultures. I have no way of confirming whether I have Chinese flowing in my veins. My chinky eyes may rather be a result of having a Japanese maternal grandmother. My paternal grandfather, on the other hand, is part-Spanish.

Ian’s heritage is an interesting mixture: When we first met, he described himself to me as “quite the mutt”. Born to an American Jewish father of Polish-Austrian and Ukrainian descent, Ian has hazel-green eyes, hair everywhere :D, and an overall look similar to how Jesus was described to us back in the Catholic school that I first attended. Ian’s mother is French and Scottish. Enough said.

Now you understand our fascination. If ever anybody asks our future children what they are (which I am sure would be frequent), they would probably need to inhale deeply before answering because it’s going to be a looooong reply.

It is an amazing thing for us – the coming together of varied cultures to make one harmonious family. I feel privileged to be a part of this. It had never crossed my mind that our children would potentially have a problem dealing with their multiracial ethnicity, because it was never an issue for me and Ian. We both came from multicultural backgrounds so first and foremost we understand that it is something to be proud of rather than loathed or embarrassed. I feel like we will be responsible parents and guide our children to foster the same kind of appreciation for their mixed heritage as well.

Mixed race is God’s photoshop!

Looks like an interesting magazine! See more at http://ricepapermagazine.ca/ , for my Canadian readers! 😉

Now, I am not the authority when it comes to marriage and motherhood; as you know,  I am yet to be a wife and mother myself. Yet I do have some ideas on how to handle being a mother to mixed kids. I’ll rely heavily on instinct, or since I am about to be Ian’s wife, I’ll refer to it as “Weinstinct” (Weinstein + instinct, get it?)

Weinstinct Tip #1. It’s all about acceptance.

Have you ever wondered why your nose doesn’t look like your father’s? Why your complexion doesn’t match your mother’s? Why your sister is fairer than you and why you are darker? I suppose we all have. Procreating is almost like joining the genetic lottery: You can never guess what you’ll draw from the bowl. Chinky eyes, almond eyes, blue eyes, brown eyes, straight hair, curly hair, freckles, no freckles, tan, fair, yellow skin, etc. Imagine factoring in a mixture of races and you get a very confusing DNA cocktail. Considering the mixture of our lineages, an accurate guess about such potential physical characteristics would be quite an amazing feat. Now, figuring your future children’s appearance is NOT the issue here. In fact, it doesn’t even really matter. What matters is how you’re going to tackle it when your child asks you the very same questions. Tricky, eh?

The solution is NOT to focus on the question but rather on what the question implies. Your child is wondering why he/she looks different from you. Correct. Yet additionally, he/she is wondering if it is okay to be different from you. Of course it is! But he/she doesn’t realize this yet. Your job as a parent is to make your child FEEL that these differences are indeed okay. Curly hair, straight hair, fair skin, brown skin, dark brown skin, whatever! Make them feel accepted. We all want to be validated right? I don’t know if I will do a sufficient job at this myself but what I do know is that I will try my very best so that my children would feel loved, appreciated, and valued no matter what they look like. I can only hope that it’s enough!

Weinstinct Tip #2: Own it so it doesn’t own you!

 Parents tend to be very protective. That’s their nature.  Of course we will all try to work hard to provide our respective children with the sense of security and belonging that they need. But parental protection can only extend so much. Try as we may, we are not sure whether some people outside of our homes will try to hurt them and screw with their self-esteem.

My greatest fear in becoming a HAPA mom is the thought of my children growing up in an environment that I did not grow up in. I wouldn’t really know how to deal with it. I hear horror stories of bullying in American schools, and I see the concept of “social casting” popularized by the media: the cheerleaders, jocks and the cool kids sit over here, the nerds over there, the Asian kids on one side and the losers on the other side. It’s sooo scary! I don’t ever want my little boy coming home to me in tears because he was teased for being of Asian descent. Beyond my protective shield, I am powerless, and my child is defenseless. Come to think of it, children spend more time in school than at home, and so it becomes as much of a venue for developing character as the home.  What if my child turns out to be shy and timid because he was excessively bullied in school without my knowledge? What if he acts out our underperforms or hates going to school because he doesn’t want to be smacked in the head or “labeled” time and time again? I would really hate for that to happen. I cringe at the thought of it! Harsh realities are looming, and they are out there waiting to bite when our unsuspecting children are left unguarded. You can’t be there wherever your kids are, can you?

The tip then is NOT to keep your eyes on your child and extend your protection all of the time (sure you could but that’s still not quite enough), but also to let your child learn to protect himself. Strengthen your child’s inner core: educate him, talk to him about his heritage, encourage him to be aware of the many cultures he has, allow him to accept himself as you have, let him embrace his mixed-ness and carry it as a badge of honor. That way, it (being multiracial) can never hurt him. Instead, it becomes a source of pride. This may seem easy but it isn’t always implemented. Some parents carry within themselves a colonial mentality or an inferiority complex and more often than not their children do “inherit” it. But that’s a separate issue entirely.

Going back, Tip # 2 then leads us to tip # 3 which is of a similar theme:

Weinstinct Tip # 3   Expose your children to the world: Travel!

  It has been said that travel is the greatest form of education. The best way for your HAPA children to get to know their heritage is to experience it. Traveling is a wonderful opportunity for them to explore these other aspects of their identities, and at the same time it provides a venue for them to cultivate appreciation for it. I certainly dream of one day taking my children to visit exotic locations, cultural heritage centers, historical places, etc. both in Asia where I came from, and in North America and Europe where Ian’s family is from. I would have them wander the cobbled streets of European countries with me, run-hop along metropolitan boulevards, explore the thoroughfares of third-world countries and bathe under the tropical sun.

  Sure, you can also take your children to places that are not in the long list of their genetic origins. It’s also healthy to know more about other cultures. I actually feel like taking my mixed family on an adventure, trekking on roads less traveled, and marveling at the sights and being amazed by the varied but equally splendid sceneries that the world has to offer. I would have my children become acquainted with different modes of transportation: the Japanese bullet train, the Thai tuktuk, the Philippine jeepney, the small Parisian cars—hell, even the not-so-reputable New York City subway. If this world is a big, big university and the streets are classrooms, then that is where my children should be.

Weinstinct Tip #4 Teach your kids to care.

 Where I don’t want my children to be is on the couch sitting all day playing video games and watching dumb TV. We can all agree that the last thing a parent would want would be for his or her children to be spoiled, stuck-up, obese reality-TV-show-watching spawns. Children need to be aware that the world doesn’t revolve around them, that there are issues we have to care about, and that amidst the wonders of the Earth there’s also so much injustice and suffering going on. If my children are going to be students of life, they have to study the most important subject in the world: The Plight of Humanity. Now this doesn’t only apply to HAPA kids, it’s for everyone else too. I think that a big chunk of what being a parent is about is teaching your children to be productive and contributing citizens of the world we all live in, reinforced by an understanding of justice and a sense of empathy.  Ultimately, I think those values are what brought Ian and I together. Values that we would surely want to inculcate in our future children and hopefully they would pass on to their children as well. Such values are not only about interaction with people from within or outside of your own culture, race, etc.,  but also about just generally being a person who exercises fairness, equality and respect to his fellow men,  because at the end of the day, whatever color or race we may be, we are all from the same Earth mother.

 Okay, perhaps I have been sounding a bit too preachy (or hippie \m/). And so this concludes “How to Handle your HAPA kids 101” in four (4) easy Weinstinct steps:

A-ccept

E-mbrace

E-xpose

C-are

But the most important one of them is Care. Ciao!

Pink tutus and metal shirts: Daydreams of Our Life Ahead!

Waiting for the next steps of our K1 visa application does require a lot of patience. Receiving our first Notice of Action (NOA1) meant for me and Ian that we have done our best and that our fate is in the hands of the government. It’s nerve-racking, as the rest of the Fiance and Spouse visa applicants would know. It involves a lot of hoping, praying, but also a lot of forward-looking, dreaming, imagining…

I won’t spare you any details: When I think of my future life with Ian, I imagine two cute, bubbly, healthy and sometimes naughty little HAPA children-a girl and a boy.

Hapa

ha•pa (hä’pä) adj.

1 Of mixed racial heritage with partial roots in Asian and/or Pacific Islander ancestry. 2; If an individual has one parent whom is Asian/Pacific Islander, and one parent whom is of an ethnicity outside of Asian/Pacific Islander, they would generally be considered Hapa. 3; Damn good looking people

2 a Hawaiian word that was originally part of the full phrase: hapa haole, which was a derogatory term for someone half Hawaiian and half “white foreigner.” Today, the phrase has been shortened to simply “hapa” and generally refers to anyone part Asian or Pacific Islander and, generally, part Caucasian. However, the definition of “hapa” has come more and more to mean “half” or “of mixed blood” in which case many different racial combinations are beginning to fall under the umbrella of “hapa”.

white + asian = hapa

http://www.urbandictionary.com

 

I would imagine Ian and little Adam (Yeah, guilty! We’ve already named our future babies. Ian would try to deny it but don’t believe him ;-P) coming home from basketball practice. They would be sticky with sweat, even stink a bit; I imagine my thick brown-haired kiddo rushing to me, excitedly blabbing about his and his father’s latest conquests. “Mama, Mama, you should’ve seen me!” Fully supportive of my child’s bragging, I would say, “I’m sure you did well. I wonder who taught you to shoot like that”, secretly eying my exhausted husband who is beaming proudly from the corner.

Other times, I see myself picking up our little girl from a Saturday bonding spree with the folks in Katonah. My girl throws open the door as she hears me parking, her curly hair flying with the wind as she runs towards me while greeting me with a torrent of her freshly learned French phrases from her session with Nena Weinstein. She’s eager to show off. I wouldn’t understand what she was saying but I would be very proud nonetheless-my little French-speaking Princess.

Speaking of Princesses, my mind turns into a flurry of pink. I imagine walking hand in hand with this future darling daughter in the aisles of what would be our favorite mall looking for her pink Princess Ballerina costume. I picture her sticking out her round tummy as she tries an item on, scratching and complaining that the glittery tutu is making her itchy, her tiny tiara falling off her head. The saleslady gives me that mean “Watch out” look and I pray to the heavens we get to be out of that place as quick as lightning.

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I smile to myself in reverie. Ian tells me that he likes my musings so much because they are so vivid that when I describe these images, the richness of detail sometimes makes him feel like he is actually experiencing them. Of course, I usually customize my imaginings to something that would fit both me and Ian’s personality. Including his influence into my daydreaming leads to other interesting fashion options for our future daughter!

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“That sure is Ian’s daughter!”
 

Some would say too much imagining can’t be good. It sets you up for expectations and possible frustrations—

Such as, what if my daughter wouldn’t want to learn ballet? Or what if my little boy wouldn’t actually be good at sports? What if I get two girls instead of a boy and girl?   (This would be the realization of my worst nightmare – A girl alone is hard work; two would be the death of me!) Would I be devastated? I don’t know the answers to these questions.

I only know that the waiting part of it and not knowing what lies ahead can send one’s brain to overdrive, and can drive you crazy if you don’t know how to deal with it effectively.  For now, this is how I handle it. These imaginings of a future ahead makes me yearn for it more, makes me want to start this life right now…but it also aids greatly with the waiting.

And so, the waiting becomes bearable. It encourages me to be patient. It tells me that life isn’t going to be perfect, but I have a good feeling that it will be beautiful and worth the wait after all.

Open Your Eyes – No More Mona Lisa Smiles!

Have you seen the movie Mona Lisa Smile?

Starring Julia Roberts, this movie was about Katherine Watson, a free-thinking art teacher who moved from California to Massachusetts to teach in the very prestigious Wellesley College for women. Set in the early 1950s, the movie showcased the beginning of a decade where women were privileged enough to avail of a college education. The girls were portrayed as being smart, prepared for class, diligent and disciplined in their studies. In fact, when Katherine first started at the school, she considered it an honor to be teaching the country’s leaders of tomorrow. Boy, was she in for a big surprise…

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The title of the film refers to the famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519), a Renaissance artist and inventor. One of the reasons the painting is so famous is because of Mona Lisa’s enigmatic smile: is she really smiling? The technical term for this painting technique is sfumato, which means soft and blurry. If you look directly at her smile it seems to disappear, when you look away it reappears. The poster for the film is of the four main female characters gazing at a painting: they have similarly indefinable expressions.

http://www.filmeducation.org/pdf/film/MonaLisaSmile.pdf

The war had just ended and the face of America was changing.  Marriages and birthrates were booming. And the women of the 1950s weren’t just majoring in history, economics and/or pre-law but also in the art of husband-hunting as if back in the time of Jane Bennett and Mr. Bingley. Cookery, housekeeping, interior design, poise and social graces were equally as important subjects as chemistry, mathematics and language. Of course! A woman must be prepared to cater to her husband and home’s every need! It seemed that college was merely a holding area for women until an eligible bachelor propositions her for marriage. Then she leaves school and, how did they say it in the movie? Ah, “set up house”, that’s it.

           The film shows the 1950s ‘ideal’ woman as one that is pretty and house-proud, and emphasizing her husband’s career over her own. Women have historically been portrayed as ‘trophies’, as an appendage to a man; their own existence is only qualified by the presence of a husband.
 
http://www.filmeducation.org/pdf/film/MonaLisaSmile.pdf

It makes me glad that I get to marry in 2013 and not in 1954. It wouldn’t have worked out for me. I’d be out the door the minute my smart-ass 50s husband starts yelling for me to get dinner out of the oven because he can’t, he’s busy reading the paper.

Ha! On second thought, just a few years back, I was actually mere inches away from being another Stepford Wife. I barely escaped without a scratch.

You see, I am an ambitious woman. I knew from the second I started walking that I wasn’t going to be a Plain Jane. I would go to graduate school, pick a career path, excel at it and climb my way to the top. It’s good for a woman to be independent: to pursue her interests, set up her own priorities and even have her personal finances in order.  I honestly believed it to be the right thing. But a few years back, I was in a situation where I thought I wanted to be a full-time housewife and spend every waking day devoting my life to managing a home: cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, making sure my husband is well and happy, etc.  I guess there’s nothing wrong with being a full-time housewife especially if one is really passionate about it. After all, it isn’t easy work. In fact it’s a very challenging job. Being a housewife is both an art and a noble sacrifice, but I don’t like the stigma that’s attached to it.

I was born and raised in the Philippines, a country with very patriarchal views. Working women are generally accepted and encouraged. Yet women having jobs or not isn’t the issue here:  It’s the double standard. Men are expected to be breadwinners: work hard and provide for the family. For women, working is optional. And yes, you may pursue a career, but if something happens to the kids, your in-laws would tell you it’s your fault. It happened because you were away working when you were supposed to be at home. You have to do this, you have to do that, because you’re a woman.

Somebody used to say this to me all the time and I got sick of it. I bailed. I never really found out if he meant it or not. Maybe he was kidding. Nonetheless, I believe that no one should think this way anymore, even jokingly. This is the 21st century and women have come a long way from being portrayed as pin-up bimbos. As a person who has a great degree of understanding and respect for what women are capable of doing and achieving, I WILL NOT HAVE IT.

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There’s nothing wrong with being a housewife or at being good at housework. I am very good at housekeeping and child care, as I was the oldest among a brood of four. But I also think that the decision to stay at home and watch the babies is as much the free-willing decision of the wife and not just of her husband. These days, no husband or mother-in-law can tell you that you cannot pursue Medicine because you are getting married. These days, a woman SHOULD be able to be what she can be and pursue her dreams.

So, to the ladies out there: Choose only a partner who will allow you to maximize your true potential, who will not limit you just because he’s too insecure and afraid that you will outshine him. Ack! The thought of those bastards just made me vomit in my mouth. Do NOT choose a partner who will refuse to let you spread your wings; choose one who will willingly be the wind beneath them instead.

I was prepared to settle. I never thought I would ever find my wind.  But I did, and so now I have soared higher and discovered greater horizons.

I understand it must NOT be easy to challenge conventions. In the Allegory of the Cave by Plato, the prisoners, after years of being in the dark, were reluctant to come out into the light because it hurt their eyes. They feared the light was blinding. Even people who undergo eye surgery experience trauma from the recovery of their eyesight. Sometimes too much information (as in the eye processing what it can see and sending brain signals) can be traumatic, the sensory overload causing headaches and vertigo so that the now seeing person may even wish he were blind again. Similarly, new knowledge and new perceptions are overwhelming, especially when we are so accustomed to what was there before.

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Katherine Watson hoped for her students to be the CEOs, Presidents, statesmen, trailblazers of the future but she was disappointed to find out that they actually felt they were destined to be the housewives of the former- and that they believed and accepted that the housewife role is the one they were born to fill. They could have been so much more, and Katherine was frustrated to see so much potential go to waste.  I really hope you don’t make your teachers feel the same.

It is time for a change. It is time to open our eyes and settle in to the new vision that we have.

We are NOT in the 1950s anymore. These days, a woman must be able to express when she is unhappy and/or dissatisfied, say so when she feels disrespected or belittled, protest when she is undermined or discriminated against. No more Mona Lisa smiles.

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Why Celebrate Monthsaries?

They say that monthsaries were invented because some people don’t even stay together long enough for them to celebrate an anniversary. One may choose to see it that way. As for me, each milestone is worth celebrating. Every single day you and your loved one are together is a blessing.

Although, I’m not really into Daysaries. That’s just too much! 😛